SDW #3: Worst. Playland. Evar.

One of the flaws in the Yahoo Yellow Pages is that in many cases, the names Yahoo uses seem not to be the names of of the restaurants themselves so much as the names of the corporations that own them.  For instance, on our last serial dining adventure, “49 Restaurants Limited” turned out to be a strip club called Secrets.  Maybe Yahoo gets their names from tax filings or something.

We ran into this same problem on Saturday, November 21, when we visited the 69th St Burger Company, which was the next restaurant on the list. Turns out, it looks like this:

69th St Burger Co

69th St Burger Co

Seems oddly familiar, no?

Note that the marquee says they open at 6:00 a.m. but the flags on top of the building say they’re open 24 hours.  Maybe they don’t mean 24 hours in a row.  Note also that the marquee advertises the presence of an indoor playground.  This will become important later.

So since we were apparently at Burger King, we ordered your typical Burger King food:  Allan had a Whopper with cheese, and I had a chicken sandwich, both complete with fries and sodas:

Hard to believe this stuff is bad for you, isn't it?

You can’t see it in this picture, but the soda cups bore the most fascinating message:

This cup makes a statement about you.  It says, “Hey, look at me, I’m an ambitious yet responsible person.”  You could have gone larger, but you didn’t.  You could have gone smaller, but again, you deferred.  No, you know exactly what you want in life, nothing more, nothing less.  It’s good when you have it your way.”

To which I must reply:  Um… what?  Is it just me, or is Burger King trying way too hard lately?  They’re going down the tubes, and embarassing themselves every step of the way.  I’m ambitious yet responsible because I ordered the medium soda?  Srsly?

As we dined, we looked around to see who else was in the BK that day.  Among the other patrons was a family with a bunch of small children, all under the age of seven.  All of the kids were sporting mylar Chuck E Cheez helium balloons.  Sorta begs the question: What happened here?  Did this family come to the Burger King directly from Chuck E Cheez?  Under what circumstances could that possibly be the right parenting choice?

The best part about this trip to Burger King was the indoor playland.  You know what these things look like– usually an elaborate series of brightly colored plastic tunnels that look like a gigantic, nonbiodegradable Rube Goldberg device with toddlers crawling through it.  Not at this Burger King, though.  Their playland looks like this:

Playland! Fun!

Notice the conspicuous absence of… well, absolutely everything besides the astroturf.

Overall verdict:  Chicken sandwich, not bad for fast food.  Everything else, epic fail.

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One Response to “SDW #3: Worst. Playland. Evar.”

  1. Charles Levi Says:

    Greetings from the Serial Diners of Greater Toronto! I am the chronicler of the Toronto group and I routinely scan the world wide web for groups who are following in our footsteps. Your experiences have been fascinating so far.

    At some point I will consult our official “Flight” list and give you an official designation (well, as official as we ever get with these things). We do this in Greek letters, and I think we are probably up to Lamda or Mu by now (or even beyond), although most of the early groups have folded. I think it is just us, Stockholm, the Chinese group and Madison Wisconsin still active.

    All the best,

    – Charles (who was last in Queens in 2002, to visit a friend in Flushing).

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